Kerrie's Story (USA)

My name is Kerrie and I grew up in a Christian home and was saved at a very young age.  At the age of 9, changes in my family led to a belief that I needed to be perfect to gain approval. I learned to mask all of my emotions but on the inside I was broken. I went away to college desperate to get away from the image of the perfect child. The choices I began to make started me down a very painful path.  I avoided my feelings by partying, binge drinking and smoking marijuana.  I soon found myself kicked out of college, and with an abusive man.  I joined him in his life’s work of selling and doing ecstasy and LSD; I experimented with mushrooms, heroin, cocaine, GHB and pills.  These drugs and this relationship ended up with me being homeless and sleeping in a tent. Eventually, I began using Crystal Meth. It became a very deep addiction. My daughter was born in February 2005, healthy and vibrant despite my using meth for the first four months of the pregnancy. When she was born, her father and I were clean, but relapsed a year later. Within six months, we were selling drugs with our daughter asleep upstairs, and this time, meth took us down fast.  One day, I began crying in agony and regret over what had happened to my life.  It was at this point that I asked God to help me; I lay on the floor and cried out to Him for what seemed like hours.  Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I found my childhood Bible, and began to read.  I was amazed; it was like the Psalms had been written about me!  God captured my heart through His Word, and made a way through the anger and the drugs.  I learned that I was pregnant again, and when the kids’ dad refused to stop using, I called my parents and begged them to help. I came to the Home of Hope Center for Women and Children in June of 2007, with a two year old and a baby on the way. I was in the program for 13 months, and His Word was used there to heal me of many things.  I laid down my addictions, and experienced the true forgiveness of Christ.   Jesus even showed up in my room at the Home of Hope to show me that I was forgiven even for having an abortion.  His presence allowed me to forgive myself for what I thought was unforgiveable.  It's been over 6 years since I entered the Home of Hope, and because of His faithfulness, I have been clean and sober ever since. This new life is not always easy, but God shows up in the hard times and has met me in every moment of need.  I say that I am a single parent on my own, but the truth is that my children are learning to call Jesus Daddy.  He is there for us in every possible way.